How to Instantly Resolve Any Personality Conflict. Three‐Phase Approach Strategy for Conflict Management and Conflict Resolution.
Tuesday, June 16th, 2009How to Instantly Resolve Any Personality Conflict
Personality conflicts at work can run the gamut from very petty concerns to disastrous results that can affect not only the individuals but other employees as well. These clashes can cause distractions that make it impossible for work to get done on time and uncomfortable for the workers, for management, and for clients who come into the workplace.
Mood and morale can be lowered as a result of these types of conflicts, and teamwork can come apart at the seams. All supervisors have to keep in mind that conflicts often have a ripple effect in an office and must be dealt with immediately before they start affecting productivity.
Some conflicts are easier to resolve than others. For garden‐variety issues, a supervisor can bring both individuals into her office and speak to them to find out the source of the conflict and how to resolve it in a fair and timely fashion. This often works, as does issuing a cease‐and‐desist warning to both parties. This tactic may prove to be more effective than a surface read reveals because neither party has to be concerned with saving face by defending his behavior or escalating the conflict. Each can feel that he is ceasing because he has to, not because he is backing down.
But, some conflicts are not so easily resolved.
If a conflict keeps escalating, then first try a tactical approach, such as finding a way to separate the individuals. You can move their desks far apart or have them work different shifts. More drastically, one person can be transferred to another section of the building or another office. You can offer professional anger management courses or conflict resolution workshops to both parties if you think that might help.
It doesn’t much matter if any one person is at fault, because the one who is responsible clearly doesn’t see it this way. We can assume there was a difference of opinion over who did what to whom and who is to blame for what. Or it may be just a general lack of respect for one another that is manifested in conversations filled with sarcastic remarks and an underlying air of hostility, competition, or jealousy.
Your overall objective is to give information about each party to the other—information that will change how each person sees the other and consequently interacts with and treats the other.
The Three‐Phase Approach Strategy
You can use any of the phases separately, combine any two of the phases, or use all three.
Phase 1: Reestablish Respect
Let each person know that the other really respects the way he does a particular thing or admires something he stands for or supports. In almost every situation, the reason one person treats the other with a lack of respect is simply that he doesn’t feel he gets respect from the other person.
Phase 2: Demonstrate Consequences
Let each one know that although the other didn’t say anything to you outright, you know that each cares a great deal about what the other thinks of him, and he might want to lighten up a bit. Maybe give some nice words of encouragement, which you know will go a long way and make him feel good.
Phase 3: Humanize
It’s good to let the other know things—as long as it doesn’t violate one’s trust and confidence in the other. When we learn that someone was a war veteran, had a tragedy when young, or is suffering an illness, we can’t help being more compassionate and empathetic, regardless of what we think of him.
