HOW TO AVOID COMMON INSENSITIVITY With DISABLED PERSON. INSENSITIVITY, PREJUDICE AND DISCRIMINATION.
Tuesday, August 11th, 2009HOW TO AVOID COMMON INSENSITIVITY With DISABLED PERSON
We have already spoken of the typical reactions of people who see a disabled person – remind yourself of these points before we move on. We hope that, having read this book, your reactions will be modified as necessary and based on empathy (thinking how you might feel in the person’s position) and sensitivity (realizing how such reactions must make the person feel).
In addition to these reactions are many other forms of insensitivity which become apparent when people meet or are introduced to a person who has a particular disability, and these can best be grouped under three headings.
Insensitive language
There are plenty of expressions which are clearly inappropriate, insulting and hurtful such as ‘blind as a bat’, ‘deaf as a post’, ‘cripple’, ‘mutt’n’jeff’, ‘spasmo’ as well as common terms which, while not meant to be hurtful, are still insensitive – these include ‘deaf and dumb’, ‘handicapped’, ‘invalid’ and ‘having a senior moment’. We will be returning to some of these expressions later in this chapter to consider why they might be inappropriate and inaccurate.
Being over-sensitive
We all value our freedom and independence and would probably feel quite put out if other people thought they knew what was best for us, or fussed unduly, offering to do things which we felt more than capable of doing for ourselves. This is as true, if not more so, for people who are living with a disability.
They will have worked hard to adjust the way they think about and do things to take account of their disability and may not take too kindly to being viewed s helpless, dependent or pathetic.
By the same token we all struggle from time to time and a kindly offer of assistance from someone else is not only appropriate but welcome. This is true for everyone, whether able-bodied or disabled in some way. The thing to remember if you feel that someone might like your help, is to offer assistance politely and not to be offended if it is refused. Chances are that the disabled person is far more able than you might first assume them to be.
Returning to the question of language for a moment, there are expressions which crop up in everyday language which are quite acceptable to disabled people and will not cause offence. For instance blind people will say ‘be seeing you’ to others in conversation and will not be upset if you use this in conversation. Other similar phrases include ‘did you hear about . . .’ or ‘I must be running along’.
Pity
Another way in which people can be insensitive is by saying things which amount to pity towards the person who is disabled. Try to avoid saying things like: ‘you poor thing’, ‘it must be awful for you’, ‘how do you cope?’, or ‘who looks after you?’ Such phrases are not helpful and do not convey the warmth and support that they suggest. Instead they can reinforce the difference between the able-bodied person and the subject of their unwanted pity. . . in effect it’s like saying ‘how awful for you that you’re not like me’ or ‘how awful it must be to be you!’
